every major change in my life has been accompanied by similar characteristics.
a new world is opened up to me and my reactions are so similar, yet so different.
going from 2nd grade where i had my bff by my side during book club and brownies and recess, to 3rd grade where i didn't know a soul.
going from 8th grade where i had my bff by my side during cheerleading and middle school dances and boyfriends, to 9th grade where i ate lunch alone and cried every day for the first three months.
going from a senior in high school, where i had by 5 bffs surrounding me, awesome mentors, and dance class to keep me busy, to a freshman in college, where my 5 bffs came with me, so the party lived on yet somehow it felt so different at the same time.
and now going from college, where i knew how to act and be a student, to the real world; something i've never experienced before.

whatever the circumstances are, my heart's motive is always the same: prove your worth.
or else you'll fail.
and at every milestone i end up at the same result. i'm not worthy. i fail.
but it wasn't until college that i saw the other side my unworthiness.
i'm not worthy. but Jesus- Jesus is worthy.
so with this milestone i go through the same motions. proving my worth and helplessly failing. failing in such a different way because its all so new.
but here is where this time it's different:
i've chosen His life instead of mine. i've died and He lives. i took the trade years ago and now i have to surrender to that; i don't get a choice:
Jesus is worthy and that makes me worthy too.



our love valleys in the darkest places; Your love carries me through.

so, when your thoughts get the better of you: Hosanna!
hosanna in the highest.
He comes and gives you rest for your weary self.