on walking the line.

most days, it's my desire to go unnoticed.
to not be known.
to walk by my loansome.
i selfishly enjoy it, the introvert that i am.
i don't have to expend my energy asking about others or worse have others ask about me.
knowing others is something i love, but talking is something i do not love.
im most comfortable when i observe, when i am able to nonchalantly sit back and listen to a convo taking place.
im thankful for the handful that know me and know my heart.
and im sort of content with that.
i just want to know the people i know, grow deep with them and step away from the rest.
truth be told, that seems like my best option in order to avoid rejection, awkwardness and the revelation of who i really am.
but at the same time, as a follower of Jesus that is something i wrestle with on a daily basis.
how selfish is it of me to walk silently through my day.
when there are many a people i come into contact with that i am able to love and show the goodness of Jesus to.
how selfish is it of me to hoard Jesus and his goodness, keeping him a secret.
how opposite is that; this introverted life compared to the life that Jesus led.
introversion is a characteristic the Lord created; a characteristic we see in Jesus.
i fully believe that.
but when it leads you to sin, by choosing to not glorify the Lord for comfort's sake. prolly not a good thing.
watch yoself dawg.